Friday the 13th sneak preview

Every time I hear about another movie remake, re-imagining, or retooling of a classic film, especially one in the horror genre, my first reaction is always to cover my ears and repeatedly say "la-la-la-la" in an attempt to block out the news and pretend that Hollywood has not once again resorted to cannibalizing another cinematic success story in an attempt to cash in.

So it was with great skepticism and furious cynicism that I attended an advance screening of the new "Friday the 13th." My first prayer was answered once the opening scene was over and I realized that this wouldn't be a shot for shot remake similar to other newly remade horror films like 1998's "Psycho."

And I have to say, I was pleased by a couple of other choices made by the producers and director Marcus Nispel as well. First off, they kept the film moving along well, paced just right at under an hour and thirty minutes. In addition to the tight direction, the art direction, sets, and quality of acting was above standards for the genre.

Most importantly, producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form of Platinum Dunes, the same company that successfully re-imagined "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Amityville Horror," and "The Hitcher," decided not to take the Hollywood low road of dummying down their film to a PG-13 rating to pimp more ticket sales, but instead went full bore with an R-rated gore fest filled with gruesome kill scenes and gratuitous sex.

That was the other pleasant surprise: a return to the days when an attractive cast is set against a bloody, sexy backdrop, reminiscent of the good old days of the 80's when I cut my cinematic teeth simultaneously on teen sex comedies and slasher pics. The new "Friday the 13th" was a pleasant combination of the two time honored traditions and should satisfy Gen Xers who grew up with a steady diet of this type of fare at the cineplex and in subsequent releases during the early days of HBO and Cinemax.

With a cast picked more for their attractiveness and willingness to appear topless, there are still a few familiar faces -- Jared Padalecki from TV's "Supernatural," Amanda Righetti from "The Mentalist," Willa Ford from "Dancing with the Stars," and Aaron Yoo from "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist," "21," and "Disturbia" are a few you may remember. But "Friday the 13th" is more about who will be killed and how than it is about individual performances, so better known actors would have detracted from the fun. The casting seemed spot on to achieve the desired effect.

Is this art? Probably not? Will it be successful? Surely. Was I entertained? Yes!

I give "Friday the 13th" three Jason masks plus one machete out of four. It ain't "The Reader," or "Slumdog Millionaire," but it hits all the right notes for the avid slasher movie fan. See it this Friday, Feb. 13.

TV is fun again

I've gotta say, things are really clickin' on the boob tube these days. Here's a rundown of a few of my favorites:

LOST
Now in their final season, long suffering fans are finally getting more answers than questions each week. This show's writing, acting, and direction are definitely at the top of their game, making it difficult to wait 7 days until the next installment. Oh well, at least there are a myriad of strange theories on about 100 LOST message boards to help fill the time...

HEROES
During every other episode of this series I'm about to give up completely on this show, but something keeps bringing me back. Let's hope this latest incarnation can deliver the same thrills that season one had. The change of showrunner will hopefully spark some excitement in the story lines. I'm not holding my breath as of yet.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Another show in it's final episodes, BSG continues to deliver some solid drama, plot twists, and fun. With Earth a burned cinder, the identity of the final Cylon divulged, and the fleet in the midst of a civil war, what will happen next? What is left to do? How can they tie this all up in a neat package with only a half dozen or so episodes left?

SHOWS I MISS
I can't wait for the return of "Rescue Me," "True Blood," and "Entourage." *SIGH*

BSG is back and just as good as ever

Friday, Jan. 16 marked the return of Battlestar Galactica on the Sci Fi network, now in its final 10 episodes. What has been heralded as "one of the best shows on television" by many critics didn't fail to deliver in this season premiere episode, revealing the identity of the final Cylon as well as whetting our appetites for the next nine episodes. We should be in for quite a wild ride as the weeks progress, with the answers to questions such as what exactly Starbuck is, what happened to the 13th colony, and the fate of the human race hanging in the balance. Friday night TV will be fun again, at least for a couple of months.

Holiday time means movie marathons!

The holidays are great because not only do we get to watch great old Christmas movies, but the cable networks also capitalize on this time to run various movie marathons, from James Bond Fests to John Wayne Westerns and other themed parades of great films. Here are a few of the latest gems I've been able to catch:


"Miracle on 34th Street" (1973)

This film has been made and remade several times and this version is certainly not the best, but is still entertaining to watch because it captures the zeitgeist of an early 70s Christmas, reminiscent of my formative years growing up. Watch this with a fellow TV buff and have fun picking out all of the stars. Kris Kringle is played by Sebastian Cabot (Mr. French on "Family Affair"), Roddy McDowall as the psychiatrist ("Planet of the Apes"), Jim Backus ("Gilligans Island" and "Mr. Magoo"), David Doyle as Mr. Macy (Bosley on "Charlie's Angels"), Tom Bosley as the judge (Mr. C on "Happy Days"), and James Gregory as the District Attorney (Fish on "Barney Miller")!! ABC opened up their cavalcade of acting talent and threw them all at this camp Christmas classic. I'd stick with the original 1947 version for pure entertainment or the very well done 1994 remake, but this one is still fun for viewers like myself who grew up in the 70s and 80s.

"Hondo"

If you like John Wayne or westerns, this is one good flick, based on a Louis L'Amor story and filmed in 1953 during the height of the Western's popularity. Here's a brief summary without any spoilers: Wayne meets rancher's wife and kid, Wayne falls in love with said rancher's wife, Wayne tussles with local Indians, everyone ends up happily ever after...that is after plenty of gun fights and positive male role-modeling!

"Jeremiah Johnson"
This 1972 Robert Redford film directed by the recently deceased and brilliant Sydney Pollack chronicles the fabled life of the 1800s mountain man named in the title. Not really a western, but still of that genre, this drama does not follow the typical Hollywood version we often see of historical figures, which makes it refreshing and interesting to watch. This film is only very loosely based on a real mountain man, but still provides some history lessons for viewers dealing with the cruel realities of life during that era and the hardships that accompanied.

Kitchen Nightmares are my TV dreams

You've probably all at least seen the commercials if not the actual program "Hell's Kitchen." I haven't yet but I know the charismatic and angry main character Chef Gordon Ramsay well.

I was introduced to him on a more personal level when I saw his other show, "Kitchen Nightmares," now in its second season on FOX. I never thought I'd care about a show focusing on chefs and restaurants, but this one is a winner.

The show follows Ramsay as he criss-crosses America, visiting some of the worst restaurants you could imagine, each of them on the brink of bankruptcy, failure, and utter collapse. The kitchens are dirty, moldy, and infested with vermin, and the owners, chefs, and other staff are usually egotistical and often inept.

That's where Ramsay comes in. This tall lanky Englishman with a penchant for the "F-word" swoops into these places, immediately determines their fallacies, and attacks them with furious anger. Unafraid of even the largest megalomaniac culinary personality, he cuts master chefs, head cooks, restaurant managers, and owners down to size, usually with tremendously entertaining results.

He calls them losers, horrible businessmen, pigs (usually for the less than clean state of their kitchens, walk-ins, and food prep areas) along with a never ending list of other colorful epithets, usually with plenty of bleeped out swear words mixed in that are easy to decipher for even the most church going of viewers.

No one is sacred in Chef Ramsay's world, and it's a guilty pleasure to watch him work.

What's best about this show is that he doesn't even try to baby these people. He tells them their shortcomings blatantly and without hesitation. In turn they cry, they scream, they even break things. Under this deluge of honesty and the subsequent breakdown of their tremendous egos, most of them hate Ramsey passionately for the first three days that he spends trying to resurrect their failing restaurants.

By the end of the week, though, he revamps the menu, the staff, the decor (ala several other home makeover type shows) and most important of all, he turns these places into operations that finally turn a profit. As a result, most of these eating establishments even manage to dig themselves out of hundreds of thousands of dollars of paralyzing debt.

And despite the venom and turmoil he unleashes on each of these restauranteurs and the businesses they run, each one of them learns to like Gordon by the end and even thanks him for coming. More than one owner has called the Chef an "angel" or a "blessing" on the program.

And they have good reason to do so; he's saved more failing small businesses in the last two seasons than Roosevelt's New Deal.

I used to hate that Ramsay guy, always swearing at the poor defenseless young chefs on "Hell's Kitchen," but now I respect him. Because, behind the yelling is something that this country and her citizens could use, especially in these tough financial times we're experiencing: It's honest talk that motivates good people to do what will make them successful.

And its this straight talk that Ramsay delivers which makes the program "Kitchen Nightmares" successful as well.

I give Chef Ramsay and "Kitchen Nightmares" five Ginsu knives out of five.

Fallout 3 not for me

I read the reviews. I watched the trailers. I thought I would like the game.

Unfortunately, less than an hour, and 20 achievement points into the new release "Fallout 3" I knew I wasn't going to like it.

Why? Too much reading.

Okay, I'm not trying to sound like a Neanderthal, but I love a good old fashioned first person shooter. When I read about Fallout I did indeed realize that it was supposed to be a role player mixed with a shooter rather than a pure shooter. But from what I gathered -- or maybe just my own high hopes -- I figured there would be enough action to balance the talking parts. The game's story and setting just seemed too cool to pass up.

But that wasn't the case, at least for me. The game just doesn't suit my personal gaming sensibilities. I'm a moron shoot 'em up guy without the patience or time to walk around talking to citizens of the video game world for hours on end. For the same reason, I didn't like "Viking" either.

I get bored just interviewing people and aimlessly wandering around an open world map trying to figure out the best place to go next. Some people love that, and that's great, but if I wanted to play "World of Warcraft," I would have bought WOW. I guess I just need more direction in my games to keep me engaged.

Oh well, you live and learn. Hopefully Gamestop will buy it back and not hit me too hard...

I give Fallout 3 one mutant zombie out of five.

Dead Space is rather lively fun

I recently finished the title "Dead Space" on the XBOX 360, and found it to be the most fun I've had since Bioshock. The story has a true cinematic feel to it, and there are some scary moments that will keep you on the edge of your seat during gameplay. The weapons are diverse and require some skill to determine which tool is the right one for each job or each creature.

Each mission is challenging yet not so difficult that you'll be running to the walkthrough to leaf through and find the answers. There's also a unique set of skins, weapons, and other add-ons available for download which will enhance the gaming experience.

With multiple difficulty levels to suit every style of gamer and plenty of room to roam and explore what feels like a working mining ship which has been invaded by an alien presence, this game will give 12 hours plus of playtime and will make it difficult to put down the controller for any lover of first person shooters.

I give "Dead Space" four and a half severed limbs out of five. Oh, yeah, did I mention the best way to kill the mutated monstrosities in this game is to shoot off their limbs? How cool is that?